


Best Man

by justabrain



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Banter, Funny, Gen, Lack of Communication, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 02:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21486715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justabrain/pseuds/justabrain
Summary: David interrupts Patrick and Stevie at the cafe to ask her to be his best man. Unfortunately, Patrick had the same goal.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose, Stevie Budd & Patrick Brewer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	Best Man

“So, what’s the occasion?” Stevie asked as she and Patrick unfolded their menus.

“Oh not a lot. Just wanted to talk about some wedding things.”

“Huh. Just you, no David?”

“Oh yeah, he’s just, uh, looking after the store for a bit this afternoon.”

Stevie glanced up as someone entered the café. “You sure about that?”

“Stevie, hi!”

“Hey,” she said as David approached the booth.

“Hi,” he greeted Patrick, placing a kiss on the side of his head. 

“Hey, what’re you doing here?”

“I was just grabbing some lunch before going back to the store. What’re _you_ doing here?”

“Having lunch with Stevie?”

“Mm. Mind if I interrupt for a sec?”

A smile darted across Patrick’s lips. “I think you already have.”

“Great,” he said, looking at Stevie. “I just had a question.”

“If it’s about the towels, I’m sorry. We’ve been trying to get Roland to do something about the washer, but, it’s Roland, so…”

“No, it’s not about that, though now that you mention it, they have been smelling a bit off. No, I was just wondering…” David fiddled with the ring on his finger. “… if you would be my best man?”

Stevie stared at him for a moment.

“Er, best… woman?” David stammered. “Best person. For the wedding? With us? Not _with_ us, between us, but you’d be there, and I’m just gonna…” He pressed his lips together.

“I…” Stevie glanced between him and Patrick, a smile growing on her face. “I would be hon—“

“Hold on!” Patrick interrupted, pulling away from David slightly. “_I_ was going to ask you to be _my_ best, er, person.” He turned to David. “You can’t just steal her!”

“You were?”

“_‘Steal’_? If I recall, I asked first, so technically if you asked now, _you_ would be the one stealing.”

“Well at least I put some thought into asking!”

“You did?”

“Yeah, why do you think I asked if you wanted to grab lunch?”

Stevie shrugged. “I figured you wanted to talk about guest accommodations or something.”

“Okay but _planning_ to do something first doesn’t count, _doing_ it does. I was planning on proposing at some point, but you did it first, so mine doesn’t count.”

Patrick blinked. “You what?”

David gaped for a moment. “I mean… not _really_.”

Patrick’s stare turned into a disbelieving smile. “Yes really, that’s how you had the ring so quickly! I knew two days was way too fast.”

“Hold on,” Stevie interrupted. “So you _both_ want me to be your best man?”

The two glanced at each other, then back at Stevie. “Apparently,” Patrick said, while David shrugged with an “I mean, yeah…”

A moment passed, before Stevie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry,” she said, catching her breath. “You guys really didn’t talk this through, did you?”

“We talked about if we knew who we were going to ask!” Patrick said, glancing at David. “We just didn’t talk about… who _exactly_ we were going to ask.”

“Yeah, because I didn’t think you were going to try to steal my best friend and ask her to be your best man!”

“I did not steal—!”

“Okay!”

They looked at her. “I’m sorry?” David said.

“Okay, yes, I will be your best… person.”

“Whose, his or mine?” Patrick asked. “Because I offered to buy lunch, so —“

“Both! I dunno, we’ll figure it out. It’s not like you two have anyone else you could ask anyway,” she said with a smile. “Also you’re still buying me lunch.”

“I’ll have you know I had a very long list of potential people to ask. You just happened to be the first one I ran into.”

“David…”

“M’kay. There are probably some teenage hooligans robbing the store at this point, so I should probably be getting back…”

“Bye, David,” Stevie said, unsuccessfully suppressing a smile.

“Don’t forget about lunch!” Patrick said as David turned to leave.

“I actually already ate; that was just an excuse to come in here. But thank you.”

“Of course it was.” 

As David left, Stevie turned back to her menu. “So, lunch?”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Best Man](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836483) by [GoLBPodfics (GodOfLaundryBaskets)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodOfLaundryBaskets/pseuds/GoLBPodfics)


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